The Financial Crimes Enforcement Network defines elder financial abuse (EFE) as “the illegal or improper use of an older adult’s funds, property or assets.” [1] According to AARP’s 2023 report, EFE causes Americans over 60 to lose an estimated $28.3 billion annually.[2] Perhaps most concerning is that 72% of this theft—$20.3 billion—comes from someone known to the victim: caregivers, family members, or friends.
I never imagined my family would become part of these statistics. What happened to my father serves as both a cautionary tale and a source of practical guidance for legal professionals working with vulnerable clients.
My Father’s Story
My father was a retired OBGYN physician who had served his community with distinction for decades. After my mother’s death following 41 years of marriage, he remarried. At the time of his remarriage, my father was financially secure with a paid-off home and substantial retirement savings. His new wife had modest assets and had been previously divorced multiple times.
In 2006, my father executed estate planning documents including a Power of Attorney (POA) naming his new wife as primary agent, with my sisters and me as successors. His estate plan was thoughtful: it provided his spouse with income from his retirement accounts for life, while ultimately benefiting charitable institutions and children from both marriages. As the only attorney in the family, I reviewed these documents with him.
Early Warning Signs
Several years into the marriage, I began noticing concerning changes. My father, who had always been transparent about his financial affairs, became secretive. My stepmother began suggesting that I was “after his money” and discouraging him from seeking my advice. When his early dementia symptoms appeared, her influence over his decisions seemed to grow stronger.
By 2013, my father was still lucid enough to document his wishes in writing for us. But as he lived with my stepmother day after day, I watched him slowly change, becoming increasingly isolated from the family members he had always trusted.
The Abuse Unfolds
After my father received a formal dementia diagnosis in 2019, events accelerated rapidly. In early 2020, my stepmother took him to an out-of-town physician, had him declared incompetent, and activated her POA authority—all without informing my sisters or me.
Her first major decision was placing my father in a nursing home, despite his clear wishes to remain at home and her repeated promises that she would “never” put him in a facility. There was no medical necessity requiring nursing home-level care.
What we discovered later was far worse. Using her POA authority, my stepmother:
- Sold their jointly-owned home
- Purchased a new home titled solely in her name
- Transferred the new property to her individual trust
- Used over $140,000 in marital funds for renovations that benefited only herself
- Left my father confined to a small nursing home room while she created her dream home
Discovering the Full Scope
My suspicions were first aroused when my stepmother requested funds from a trust my mother had left for my father’s care. When I asked simple questions I had always been allowed to ask, I was suddenly stonewalled. My father’s financial advisor even threatened to report me for “elder abuse” for inquiring about my father’s wellbeing.
That’s when I knew something was seriously wrong. I researched public records and discovered the house had been transferred to my stepmother’s trust. When I requested an explanation, I was told to contact her attorney, who also refused to respond.
Meanwhile, my father was deteriorating in the nursing home. We learned he had become suicidal and that my stepmother would refuse to visit if he cried in front of her. Despite our pleas to allow him to live with my sister, where he would be surrounded by family, my stepmother refused.
The Legal Battle
Stonewalled at every turn, we filed suit to have my stepmother removed as POA. The discovery process revealed the full extent of her theft:
- Beneficiary Fraud: Using her POA authority, my stepmother had changed the beneficiaries on my father’s retirement accounts worth over $1.9 million, designating herself instead of his trust. This action destroyed the trust’s assets and attempted to disinherit the university, his church, his medical school, and his children—directly contradicting his documented wishes.
- Asset Manipulation: The home purchase had been structured so that if my stepmother predeceased my father, her daughter would inherit the $500,000 property, depriving my father of this asset entirely.
Justice and Recovery
After nearly a year of legal proceedings, we prevailed. The judge found that my stepmother had breached her fiduciary duties, ruling that her actions were “unreasonable and not undertaken in good faith.” She had violated her duty of “loyalty, care, and diligence by failing to safeguard” my father’s best interests. The court ordered restoration of $1.9 million in assets and revoked her POA authority.
With her authority revoked, my stepmother stopped visiting my father entirely. We were able to move him to my sister’s home, where his improvement was remarkable. He received proper medical care, began talking and standing again, and even took a few steps. Most importantly, he was surrounded by family who loved him.
When my father passed away, he was not alone—my sisters and I were there with him. He never once asked for my stepmother during his final months.
Lessons Learned
Power of Attorney Selection: Help clients understand the enormous authority they’re granting. In blended families especially, discuss potential conflicts of interest and consider joint agents or successors with relevant expertise.
Regular Plan Reviews: Don’t let estate plans become stale. My father’s POA was 18 years old when activated, reflecting family dynamics from early in his second marriage rather than the reality years later.
Specific Authority Limitations: Be precise about powers granted. Consider whether to include authority to change beneficiaries, as this can override other estate planning intentions.
Document Care Preferences: Get your client’s wishes about future care in writing. My father’s verbal statements about never wanting nursing home care weren’t legally binding.
Red Flags to Watch For
- Sudden reluctance to discuss previously open financial matters.
- New spouse or caregiver discouraging client from consulting trusted advisors.
- Isolation from family members who previously had close relationships with the client.
- Requests to change beneficiaries or make significant asset transfers after cognitive decline begins.
Practical Recommendations
Separate Representation: In blended families, consider recommending separate counsel for each spouse to avoid conflicts of interest.
Medical Expertise: For healthcare decisions, consider appointing agents with medical knowledge or requiring consultation with medical professionals.
Ongoing Relationships: Maintain periodic contact with elderly clients, especially those showing signs of cognitive decline.
Final Arrangements: Include specific instructions about remains and burial wishes, as state laws vary regarding spousal authority.
Systemic Challenges
My family’s experience highlighted broader issues in elder abuse prevention:
- AARP estimates that $20.5 billion in elder financial abuse goes unreported annually.
- Law enforcement may be reluctant to pursue cases, even with court findings of abuse.
- Financial institutions and healthcare providers often lack adequate protocols for identifying abuse.
Moving Forward
This experience taught me valuable lessons that I hope will help other families avoid similar tragedies. The most effective protection comes from proactive planning that anticipates potential conflicts and includes appropriate safeguards.
For legal professionals, the key is ongoing vigilance. Regular check-ins with elderly clients, particularly those in blended families or experiencing cognitive decline, can help identify concerning patterns before they result in significant harm.
My father’s story had a legal victory, but the emotional and financial costs were enormous. The best outcome is prevention through careful planning, clear documentation of wishes, and maintaining strong relationships with trusted family members and advisors.
Elder financial abuse thrives in isolation and secrecy. By keeping our elderly clients connected to their support networks and ensuring their wishes are clearly documented and legally protected, we can help prevent these devastating crimes against our most vulnerable community members.
Brenda Sauro is a partner at Hellmuth & Johnson, where she focuses her litigation practice on construction defects, insurance coverage disputes, and business litigation. This article reflects lessons learned from personal experience with elder law matters. Contact Brenda at bsauro@hjlawfirm.com if you have concerns about the misuse of a Power of Attorney.
[1] https://www.fincen.gov/sites/default/files/advisory/2022-06-15/FinCEN%20Advisory%20Elder%20Financial%20Exploitation%20FINAL%20508.pdf.
[2] https://press.aarp.org/2023-06-15-AARP-Report-Finds-28-Billion-a-Year-is-Stolen-from-US-Adults-Over-60
